How to achieve a full slip

A general discussion of pornography addiction. All are welcome.

How to achieve a full slip

Postby 1dayatatime on Tue May 06, 2008 5:25 pm

"How to do a real slip"

This post is for those who are thinking about slipping. It will explain how to do a full, complete, genuine slip. Now make sure you read all the directions before you have your slip. Don't cut corners!

The first thing to do is to notify those in your life that are going to be affected by your slip. If you have a special someone in your life, such as a spouse, partner, or "friend with benefits", you must tell them before you slip that you are going to do so. This will save time after the slip and allow them to start feeling bad sooner. It will also save all that silly time wasted in the "cat and mouse" of uncovering your slip. Now if you really want to go the extra mile you might punch them in the gut or spit in their face, just to make sure they understand where you are coming from. For those of you with children, though, you should not tell them ahead of time. Kids much prefer to be "surprised" when their world is shattered. Besides, their crying and whining might kill the buzz of your slip. It's a matter of setting priorities, right? You must also be sure to tell your friends. Traditionally this isn't done directly. Let them find out you are a jerk one by one surreptitiously. That will make the agony drawn out for everyone. How much more fun could that be? How and when your boss and coworkers are informed is a matter of some debate. Some think the loss of respect should start as soon as possible. Others think it should come as a bolt out of the blue. I won't take a position but leave that for each to decide for himself. However, sooner or later your employer and colleagues must be allowed to know. Otherwise you are selling your slip short. Last, and certainly least, you must let the P providers know that you are in the market for more poison. They would find out soon enough. But just to make it obvious you might put a "sucker" button on or a "kick me" sign on your backside.

Now that all the notifications to your loved ones and acquaintances are done, you must take care of the fiscal matters. Go to the ATM and withdraw all the money you can. Now burn it. I know you might be thinking, "that's crazy!" But your slip will cost you plenty of money and you need the practice of wasting the money. There is no such thing as "free P". Sooner or later P will cost you a ton of money. Sometimes the costs aren't direct. Sometimes it takes the form of divorce costs, alimony/child support, therapy, etc. But slips will cost you money. Those that have a problem with having a fire can use the garbage disposal or a toilet as an alternative method for the money destruction. The important thing is that the money must be totally wasted and destroyed. If the cash withdrawal caused your checks to start bouncing you earn "extra points." If your rent or mortgage payment bounces you are really making a statement!

Ok, the people and money aspects are set, next we need to discuss the logistics. If you use your computer as your P delivery mechanism of choice, you must prepare it. Secure a sledgehammer. Immediately after your slip take the sledgehammer and destroy your computer. This is to ensure that your computer becomes useless. Often P introduces computer viruses and other junk to make it useless. But sometimes this doesn't happen soon enough. That's where the sledgehammer comes in as the backup. Speaking of backups, do NOT make any backup of your computer disks before destroying it. That will make the loss of your files an added "bonus". If you don't think you are physically strong enough to destroy your computer with a sledgehammer then pouring a can of softdrink or a cup of coffee into the computer has been used as an alternative method. If you use magazines or printed materials instead of the computer, leave them out in the open afterwards for everyone to see them. Don't hide them, you should be proud of them. Extra points if you write your name on them in big bold letters and indicate whose they are "property of".

Last we should take care of the physiological aspects. Get a blunt object. If you used a sledgehammer to destroy your computer it is possible to use that as the blunt object. Now right after your slip whack yourself in the genitals. :o I know that seems harsh and extreme. But it is necessary to get the full effect. After all, P usage and slips should eventually lead to ED. The whack should be done to try to simulate that. Right now some of you are shaking your head saying to yourself, "I'm not doing that." I understand your point of view. You might be thinking, hurting others, wasting money and destroying my computer you can handle, but you are drawing the line at a shot to the gonads. All I can say is if you really, really want to have all that slip entails it has to be done.

By now, some of you are wondering if you can "cut corners". Perhaps have a slip without some of these "benefits". Others have tried that, but until you have done a full on slip you haven't done a complete one. That means you will have only two choices. Either you keep practicing slips until you get it done fully and completely or you stop slipping. Others of you are now reconsidering whether a slip is worth it all. I can't argue against that, because that's actually right. So now the choice should be clearer. Now what's it going to be: keep slipping until you get it all, or quit slipping?
Last edited by 1dayatatime on Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
1dayatatime
Your humble servant.
 
Posts: 6799
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2007 7:43 pm
Location: The Diaspora

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby readytojump on Wed May 07, 2008 4:21 pm

wow...i started laughing anf then 1/2 way thru, i realized that while your point is well taken and taken well with humor, that it is a sad, but true (albeit somewhat satirical) account of how the addiction destroys, much like a forest fire, but at least forest fires serve a positive purpose (in some ways)

good writing, well thought out and the humor makes the point better than a textbook style of conveying the same message.

thanks, i enjoyed the read
Sobriety Date: 4th of March, 2013

"and it's only the giving that makes you what you are" - Jethro Tull

"if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice...I will choose Free Will" - Rush
User avatar
readytojump
Your humble servant.
 
Posts: 1790
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:33 pm
Location: Walking On Velvet Green

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby EditorJenLeigh on Wed May 07, 2008 5:30 pm

Having just experienced a slip, this is too real to be funny. But I liked it in a bittersweet, ready to print this out and shove it in my H's face kind of way.
Good job.
Maybe its twin would be--how a SO should handle a slip. I'll bet I can come up with some good responses for that one. Let's put on our thinking caps.
Jen
EditorJenLeigh
Full Member
 
Posts: 131
Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:02 am

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby cup of tea on Thu May 08, 2008 2:20 am

It's funny because it's true... :roll:

- cup of tea
[Having a cup of tea - an] invitation to discover the universal truth within ourselves. Having a cup of tea, a moment of awareness, is like the act of sitting down and experiencing enlightenment.

my journal
User avatar
cup of tea
Full Member
 
Posts: 198
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 7:36 am

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby clean2day on Thu May 08, 2008 2:32 am

I noticed only one mistake in whom and when you should tell you people that you are going to slip.

Even before you tell you SO you should go to your priest , or church elders or whoever your religious leaders are and let them know so you wont have to play at being "the good guy" the next time you see them. Let them know what and when you plain to do this thing. That way they can help you tell your SO and make sure that she understands that you really don't care.

Liked this one going to maybe print it out and keep it near my computer so I don't forget how to have a great ol' time and not miss anything while I do it.

C2d
"When you need a victory, Jesus gives it.
When you need a friend, Jesus will be there.
When you need to talk, Jesus will listen.
And if you need to cry, Jesus will hold you close.
Rev E. O. Hilt 1908 - 1988

Husbands, be considerate as you live with your wives, treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 1Peter 3:7
clean2day
Full Member
 
Posts: 174
Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:53 am

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby chad on Thu May 08, 2008 6:10 pm

Errm...

Maybe I've just give the slip a miss. My eyes are watering already... (the "gonads!")

Chad
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51.10

Free of P since 5 November 2007

Visit my journal - viewtopic.php?f=5&t=326
My story - viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12731
User avatar
chad
Your humble servant.
 
Posts: 4478
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:38 pm
Location: UK

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby mayberry on Fri May 09, 2008 5:46 pm

I *do* so hope someone will keep this thread near the top of the General Discussion board. PRICELESS!
Be still and listen.
User avatar
mayberry
Your humble servant.
 
Posts: 6297
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:01 pm
Location: Mayberry, IN

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby chad on Mon May 26, 2008 4:45 pm

OK, I'll do it... BUMP.

Chad
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51.10

Free of P since 5 November 2007

Visit my journal - viewtopic.php?f=5&t=326
My story - viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12731
User avatar
chad
Your humble servant.
 
Posts: 4478
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 5:38 pm
Location: UK

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby DennisW on Mon May 26, 2008 8:52 pm

I had never considered how much effort a slip can take. I always thought that it was just a quick look. :shock:
Sobriety Date: 10/8/07
Recovery Plan (gotta scroll down)

"Sooner or later, you have to turn and face the pain that makes the temptation so attractive. Sooner or later, you have to run to God."--John Ortberg
User avatar
DennisW
Your humble servant.
 
Posts: 2728
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:58 am
Location: Michigan

Re: How to achieve a full slip

Postby witness on Tue May 27, 2008 7:31 am

The consequences are certainly deadly!!

I should have known it long ago! After all, the wages of sin is DEATH!

Thanks for the heads up!!
Image
Walking towards the LIGHT, one day at a time, with God's help.
User avatar
witness
Your humble servant.
 
Posts: 2140
Joined: Thu Dec 20, 2007 12:03 pm

Next

Return to General Discussion Board

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron