Vanquishing!

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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby Vesper on Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:41 am

Hello Honeysuckle,

I read your post yesterday and had hoped to get back last night but I was out shopping until 8.30 and then was cooking. I asked E to come and help with the stirring etc. I have my neighbour on my back saying I must make him do things but it really isn't that easy with E.

This made me so angry when I read it. WTF does he think he is Adrian Turner? :evil: :evil:


Well, at the time they were comments made amongst lots of pleasantries and he brought the one about the bike up again, and I explained how it was a put down. It didn't happen again and that's why I didn't put it in here.

You'e a bigger woman than me is all I can say.


You have hit the nail on the head. Aren't I part of the problem? Any other woman would have said something. One of my niece's reminded me about me being analytical. Has anything changed with me? I used to stand up for myself with ex h but got worn down over the years. When PS and I broke up he said I was feistier when we were just friends and that there was a guy in the village whom I served at the pumps who brought out that side of me. So, what am I doing now? Why aren't I sticking up for myself? Maybe I have let myself become over conditioned by ex h as I bought into that, "You have an undercurrent of anger!" thing? Maybe I work it out afterwards as I am stunned into a childlike stance reminiscent of times past?

These comments made me swear out loud and using foul language when i first read them :evil: :evil: :evil: . He is a [expletive]. How could you have a relationship with someone who sets an impossible bar that you can never overcome. Or does he think that 'treat em mean, keep em keen' is a relationship trend to follow.


I don't know. My broad view is that when there is lots of good stuff going on...laughter, banter, closeness then the nasty is in the background. But, since the last break up (April 6th was that night in the gym), it has mostly been chatting by text or on Fb. So, amongst the banter the negatives stand out in fierce relief as they aren't offset by physical presence. Even as a friend he hasn't treated me well. He was meant to bring that super mixture of his over to help me sweat this thing out three times last week and each time he didn't turn into the gym or came over to the gym but didn't drop it round. he said on Monday he would drop it on the doorstep. Sure, he doesn't want to catch this but when he came here to get his stuff he kissed hard and still didn't catch it. The doctor said I am not infectious.

Given what you've said above it - could never be a true, loving relationship.


That's it in a nutshell isn't it? Like I said that night if he doesn't love me then that's the beginning and the end of it.

No-one says things like that to someone they are close to or want a romantic relationship with. No-one. Just no-one. He is truly insensitive.


Yes, R said yesterday that he is coarse and insensitive.

Ditch the s*it and focus on your health. You are really worth so much more than him.


Thank you for this. The steroids finish today. I wish the nurse had given me antibiotics two weeks ago as I had signs of infection but because my lungs were clear she said it was a virus. My ribs ache from the violence of the cough. I rang Aunt M yesterday and she was really concerned when she heard me coughing. I said how bad I felt ans her response was that I am not one to complain...

There were other things in that exchange on Wednesday. After my sister's anniversary my bil asked about him. I mentioned the secrecy from the daughters and my bil said it was right to be sensitive to them but I also had needs too. I brought this up once with SG. A week or so later Aa was horrified to fine I didn't know his land line number and I mentioned that once. He knew the secrecy bothered me as I mad mentioned it three or four times. On Wednesday he said I had brought up the comments from others in every second or third conversation. This is so far from my reality...it was looking at those messages that I realised something had to give. The serenity prayer has been on mu mind over the last week. I couldn't sleep on Wednesday night with squiggly feelings an don Thursday i was set to leave a message as he doesn't answer his phone straight away. I didn't sleep well on Thursday night and that was why I acted yesterday. It was going round in my head. I had a better night last night.

Thanks for being here. It means a lot.

Love,

V
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby Vesper on Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:52 am

Hi Who,

Thank you for being here too. It means a lot.

Don't feel selfish. You are not selfish, you are hurting. It doesn't have to be on such a grand scale to have it matter to God or others. He still wants to comfort you, and we want you to know we care.


This touched me. I know God meets us where we are at and I am so grateful to you all for your support.

I pray you stay strong and keep those bridges burnt tho.


I shan't contact him..is that what you mean? I didn't after the first break up. After the second I wanted to know why he was forcing my hand into breaking up with him. This time it's about the friendship. He told me his wife used to argue with him over his anger. I have just walked from it. Those few paragraphs on Wednesday though showed me just how differently we perceive things.

SG is a scum bucket, Emma is a scum bucket and you are a quality person who really does deserve so much better than this. While you are toughing this out, remember that we are told to not cast our pearls before swine :x


Ha! R called Emma a git yesterday. Alright, he said that to her but she didn't ask me and she acted in his favour. I remember NAG talking about his gf. Yes, she did have a nasty tongue at times but I know that some of it was him just wanting a peaceful; life. Someone to mother him with food, and to provide pleasure and anything like expressing concern about his diet, health etc and he would get annoyed.

Love you too

V
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby Vesper on Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:58 am

I think the antibiotics are working as the cough is still violent but I feel the infection is being broken down. Aa has had more stuff with C from last Monday and she wants to talk to me this weekend but I am not sure if I have enough oomph ...we'll see.

R has three more exams to go. Her history paper was a gift apparently. Very open questions so they were given a lot of scope for answering. I went shopping last night to replenish my lavender oil stocks, bought a new top and a couple of sports tops.

I am missing being at church and at meditation.

Thanks for being here guys and peace to all who pass through.
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby honeysuckle on Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:48 pm

Vesper wrote:I think the antibiotics are working as the cough is still violent but I feel the infection is being broken down.


Hello V,

I hope you are on the mend. IS it hot up your way? 33c here yesterday. Very difficult to sleep, I've got curtains closed to keep the heat out.

Aa has had more stuff with C from last Monday and she wants to talk to me this weekend but I am not sure if I have enough oomph ...we'll see.


I hope you were kind to yourself and rested.

R has three more exams to go. Her history paper was a gift apparently. Very open questions so they were given a lot of scope for answering. I went shopping last night to replenish my lavender oil stocks, bought a new top and a couple of sports tops.
I love lavendar and have a huge bush in the front garden.

I am missing being at church and at meditation.

Yes I can imagine you are.

Thanks for being here guys and peace to all who pass through.

We need a great deal of this......

love H
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby Vesper on Tue Jun 20, 2017 8:16 am

Hello Honeysuckle,

Hello V,

I hope you are on the mend. IS it hot up your way? 33c here yesterday. Very difficult to sleep, I've got curtains closed to keep the heat out.


I am improving, thanks, but it's very slow. I am tired and breathless. It has been very hot and close at night time. Last night was a little cooler.

I hope you were kind to yourself and rested.


Aa gave ringing a miss at the weekend but asked for me to go round to help yesterday. I called after going for an eye appointment. She doesn't seem to see how sick I am and how out of breath? Last time I called when I was on my way off she and her h started in about the house moving saga. I was standing there saying, "I need to go!" but I was so winded I couldn't get past them talking. I wasn't assertive enough out of exhaustion. She asked me to stay, as I was leaving last night, and I helped her to pack some boxes. It reminds me of history all over again...her folding the boxes the wrong way, me indicating that she is doing it.... trying not to rescue like I did with my mother and sister. Oh GOD!!!!

I love lavendar and have a huge bush in the front garden.


I have one too ...

Yes I can imagine you are.


So much so..it's been since the first week of May.

We need a great deal of this......


We do need peace...what a week - again!

Thank you for being here - very much appreciated.

Love,

V
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby honeysuckle on Wed Jun 21, 2017 4:24 am

Vesper wrote:Hello Honeysuckle,
........... She asked me to stay, as I was leaving last night, and I helped her to pack some boxes. It reminds me of history all over again...her folding the boxes the wrong way, me indicating that she is doing it.... trying not to rescue like I did with my mother and sister. Oh GOD!!!!


V, I am a born rescuer. No matter how hard I try not to I still do.

I love lavendar and have a huge bush in the front garden.

Apologies for the typo :oops: - we have a lavender pillow underneath our bed pillows and it smells glorious when the pillows get moved.

Near where we live there are 2 lavender farms. One is huge and we went there once when they were cutting the lavender. The scent was so heady. Talking about scent, the garden next door is left wild and they have jasmine and the scent has been drifting into the house through the open kitchen doors on the evening One benefit of the heat.

My favourite smelly flower is night scented stock but I don't seem to be able to beat the slugs with that one. Each time I've tried they've devoured the plant. I was able to grow it in the N East.

love H
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby Vesper on Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:33 am

Hello Honeysuckle,

V, I am a born rescuer. No matter how hard I try not to I still do.


It is hard when it had been your role. I am happy to help with the babies when they are born but Aa plans invitations around the days when she is making family birthday cakes, say, with comments like, "I think you would be really good at this icing!", and she says she isn't manipulative lol. I can see they have bitten off more than they can chew at the moment. When they decided to move on whim she said that this is how we do things. We just decide and that's that. This was great as their first home is a new build but being part of a chain is a different matter. The situation is ridiculous though as it is a very straightforward chain and it seems to me their sellers demanded completion by June 9th only to stall over filling in forms, and they had left their house on that date. Everything is meant to be good to go for tomorrow and their buyer said they could move out on Saturday but now something else has held things up. It's almost as if the solicitors didn't want people to have agency in these matters.

Apologies for the typo :oops: - we have a lavender pillow underneath our bed pillows and it smells glorious when the pillows get moved.


It was my typo :oops: :oops: I have stopped proof reading :oops:

Near where we live there are 2 lavender farms. One is huge and we went there once when they were cutting the lavender. The scent was so heady. Talking about scent, the garden next door is left wild and they have jasmine and the scent has been drifting into the house through the open kitchen doors on the evening One benefit of the heat.


This sounds lovely :)

My favourite smelly flower is night scented stock but I don't seem to be able to beat the slugs with that one. Each time I've tried they've devoured the plant. I was able to grow it in the N East.


Oh, that's a shame!

Thanks for being here - you are a great comfort!

Love,

V
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby Vesper on Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:24 am

Still feeling under the weather. I saw the nurse practitioner yesterday (the one who wanted to arrange the x-ray). She said the crackling in the lung has gone and that I am sick. More antibiotics. I had a better night's sleep last night though. That helped. I will be fetching M home on Monday.

R's exams are over :D
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby honeysuckle on Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:51 am

Vesper wrote:Still feeling under the weather. I saw the nurse practitioner yesterday (the one who wanted to arrange the x-ray). She said the crackling in the lung has gone and that I am sick. More antibiotics. I had a better night's sleep last night though. That helped. I will be fetching M home on Monday.


Hello V,

I hope you rest over the weekend. Give the pills a chance to kick in.

R's exams are over :D
.

Good I hope she is pleased when the results arrive :D

Don't forget - REST.
love H
honeysuckle
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Re: Vanquishing!

Postby Whoami on Sun Jun 25, 2017 9:47 pm

Good Lord girl, please get well soon.
H has been given a chest x-ray for a cough, he is ok, not near as sick as you tho. Please get checked out if you haven't, in every way.
Holding you in thoughts and prayers...
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